Waves.

I spare myself 15 minutes to take a deep breath and free myself of the millions of things playing around in my mind! 15minutes to visit my world of peace! I dread the watch!
I walk on the beach leaving everything behind. The ocean talks to me in its deep reverberating sound and fills my soul with a certain calmness. A world where nothing is blurred,where I know all the answers,where I have won already!
I collect as much as strength as I can carry back with me!
Time teasingly races with me, I take a last look at the deep blue of the waters and absorb as much as I can in one breath. Its time to go!

I kneel down before Him and apologise for my selfishness! I pray to Him to give me the power to be what I am supposed to be! Love You Lord!

My Dear 1100!

In todays world of Nokia N-series cellular phones I proudly dote over my Nokia 1100!! The first (and the only) cell that I have ever owned!! Agreed that it does not earn me any status(if not lose some!!) when I pull it out of my pocket, but it is an adorable phone!

I might be sounding crazy but its the truth that I am emotionally attached to my cell phone(besides also being physically attached to it most of the day!!). I have a reason for it...let me explain!! In the era of cells getting stolen and lost, my phone stood by me!! In the era when all the cell phones were spoilt because of "water logging" in the monsterous monsoons of Mumbai, my phone stood by me!! I even dropped it from a bridge, but when I picked it up again, it smiled at me and said "Keypad Unlocked"!!! Is'nt that sweet!!

Yeah so it does not have bluetooth, but it has a sturdy blue body(and not to forget the flashlight on top which has guided me through a million dark moments!!!). Yeah so maybe it does not have a radio or a camera but it cheers me up every time I am low by suddenly springing up to life saying " 1 message recieved"!! How I enjoy recieving messages!! What you talking about games, oh c'mon give me a break, I dont think theres any game which can beat the excitement of playing SnakeII(I prefer the Campaign)!! Polyphormic tunes?...oh what good are they anyways, you need the shrill sound to wake up early on the morning when your alarm screams in your ear!!

I know most people hate the green light it emits but what can make me feel more closer to nature??(lozz..ok agreed even I hate that green light!!). Basically, in a nutshell, I love my cell phone for everything it offers me!!

I have named my cell phone-I'll call it Tikoo!!

Hymn.

This is a prayer that I was taught in school. I never understood the beauty of the hymn in school days but now every time I hum this prayer I get gooseflesh! It has stayed with me and always will so I thought lemme share it with the rest of the world too! If you can capture the magic of the song, good for you! If you cant, no worries, give yourself time!(I was slow at it too ;) !!).

So here goes:

Every tiny star that twinkles in the night sky,
Every drop of morning dew,
Every silver stream that gushes down the mountains,
Every captivating view,

Every eagle in the sky...
Every pretty butterfly...
Tells the fascinating news to those who dare to hope,
And the message is ,
God still loves the world,
God still,still loves the world,
So throw your life into his hands...
Day by day discern his plans...
God is passionately busy loving you and me!!

How I wish I could sing it out to you!!

See You Soon!

"I measure every grief I meet,
With narrow probing eyes,
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an eaiser size."

And as I sit on a shabby table,
To dine with my guest "grief",
I ensure I've served the right cuisines,
Only to bring some relief!

We silently look down and eat,
Each uncomfortable by the other's side,
I finally find the courage to ask
"What brings you here? How long will you reside?"

Ashamed of his presence, he looked up at me,
His eyes were old, his hair gray,
"Have come to settle previous dues,
Will leave at the break of day."

For the rest of the meal we both were silent,
I studied him quietly,
He greedily gulepd down the food,
Not once did he look at me.

Inspite of finishing my meal I sat
And waited for him to finish,
After dinner he walked to the guestroom,
And soon I saw the light diminish.

As I lay awake on bed I recalled
The few times he'd visited me before,
And how with each time that he came
We got to know one another more.

On the break of dawn I saw him leave,
Walk down and far the lane,
I smiled at the man of his word
And moved on to life again!

AAAAHHH.....

Sitting in the moonlight of the mock moon that probably shines brighter than the real one,and also switches on and off whenever we want it to,I sit before this lifeless machine that bears the brunt of my habbit to write!! Silently and helplessly the machine sits before me thanking its creator for not giving it a brain to decode the stuff that I write!

If you have sensed negetivity its only because I've lived through things like falling in the Quad and sliding down it and banging my head in the edge of the bed at night!! Life is totally edgy...AAAHHHHH!!!!

If you are already tired of those long sentences then you should probably not read any further!Long sentences are the characteristics of a pathetically tired brain in an illusion of hope!! I am the one who is totally tired! Tired of fat aunties(with even fatter bags) brushing me aside(without even noticing me!!!) in the trains. Tired of the pervertish men winking(and all those wierd expressions and words mummered by them that I have never understood!!) ...of the men sitting in a queue on Mahim railway tracks to shit early in the morning...of all the dust that has to go in my nose(as if others dont have any sensory organs!!)...of lectures that never happen...of practicals where we spend time sleeping on one anothers shoulders...of those M.E. profs who are pitifully dominating,of xeroxes from a variety of different classes(which dont even help learning anything!!)...of the songs that reside permanently in my Winamp playlist...of stars that never shine(and lazily sleep giving an excuse of pollution!!)...of birds that cant be heard chirping...of beaches that are nothing better than garbage collections...of the skies which turn black at nights (just when I need some colour in life!!)

I guess I should just go to bed!!

I hate CorelDraw!

Yawwwnnnn...I simply cannot work on Corel Draw!! The huge ER Diagram bullies me with a pathetically teasing expression! Scared and offended I slyly hide behind Orkut and cautiously peep out. Orkut pampers me with kind scraps saying "We notice you enough to scrap you!!"Okay maybe the reader did'nt understand this but thats okay,dont try too hard,its not worth the effort!!
My "Available" status on Yahoo Messenger does'nt seem to attract many(or rather any) conversations! What the hell does everyone do all day long?? I have heard the songs on my Winamp playlist three times now and this is the fourth cycle! I am too bored to add any new songs! Gosh,remixes can kill certain songs!
I am trying to blog in hope that I will discover some thought that has never occured to me before today....BINGO!! I immediately realize that boredom and CorelDRAW10 can destroy your evenings if not handled with caution! I can visualize a "DANGER 44oVolts" sign in red with a skeleton skull as the logo of Coreldraw!
Yawwwnnn...maybe the animators are going to hate me for this post,maybe its just my incapability to understand how this mammoth works but whatever it is...I hate working on CorelDraw!!!

Mumbai-Heaven-Mumbai!!

The last weekend I had gone for a vaccation to Heaven! A four hour journey in a bus which rattled and made more noise than a constantly firing machine gun!! Yes,the bus drove us around in Heaven and droped us back home!
Haha,no this was no dream that I was talking about,last weekend I did go for a vaccation and on my way back home dropped in at the heavens!! The Express Highway which is the road between Mumbai and Pune proved to be the most heavenly experiance of the entire trip! Could not avoid the feeling it gave me so I had to blog it down!!

I have never seen and smelt this much greenary before! The combination of the lush green mountains,the purest form of white as the waterfalls made their way out of the rocks and the deep blue was magical! Droplets of nector softly poured down the skies. The sky seemed to be a huge canvas where the Gods let loose their creativity with beautiful strokes of white. I tried to figure out what They were drawing but I am not very good at deciphering!!

The foggy clouds gushed down the mountains! Far away at the end of the Earth I could see the placid sky kiss the playful green. Not once did I blink as this beauty flowed from the Gods right into my soul! I captured a milion image in my "super cam" with an infinite memory that God has gifted me with while the others struggled with their camera lenses!!
I soaked and soaked greedily till I was totally imbued with this beauty. Abundance of satisfaction put me in a peaceful sleep.

When I next opened my eyes a BEST bus with its cheerful red sped past me. For a second I felt that all its passengers sang me a song with rythmic synchronised movement of hands waving at me and singing "Welcome home,welcome home darling"!!!!! I was only glad to see them! Home is nothing less than heaven,I was back in Mumbai!

Craving for more.

It is a dark evening. The rain drops merrily hum a melodious song as they hit the surface of the Earth. Nature seems to be singing a soft, love song to put the Gods to sleep.The song that narrates the love story of two lovers who could never meet,of their glories,their emotions,their sacrifices and their reunion in the heavens-in the home of the Gods! The clouds seem to be veiling a million emotions which they sometimes vent and thunderously let them loose before all of us! The depth of the sky makes me suddenly feel small. The emptiness in the dark nothings scares me. Here I sit alone,talking to my Gods,again!!

I write a new post almost everyday. I was wondering what is it that drives me to write something everyday. Where do I get the topic from everyday? Very soon I sat smiling at the answer which royally walked right into my mind!Have you ever realized how many things you experiance in a single minute? How many emotions you go through in one day? How many lives you live in a split second! The most obscure part however is that each day,each experiance is different from all those you've experianced before!! This world is like the biggest warehouse of experiances. Its a mighty collection of feelings. With every breath you take you walk past millions of such magical experiances. Some are avoided,some unnoticed and the others captured in the heart forever!

There is only one thing that is bigger than this collection of magic moments...that something is your soul! Your soul is constantly absorbing each of these moments in itself,desparate to fill in its mighty vaccume! Deeper than the deepest ocean,wider than the skies and greater than the largest galaxy that has ever existed!! Your soul is thirsty,to live,to feel! I guess all I do is let it free! The rest is easy. Every moment brings a new story in my life. Graciously the AllMighty has given me the ability to express a few of these magic experiances in words(though I dont think my words do complete justice,I can not recreate the magic,I am not God!!).

Before I end this I just want to mention a little about the day. Was an extremely busy and tiring day today! Caught myself running(literally!!) a couple of times! Deadlines can do wonders to test your capabilites! "I enjoy deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."I had read this a week back,heard the whooshing sound myself today! Yes, I did enjoy it a lot!! All in all a tiring but satisfying day!

As I sit with slowly typing fingers and a slowly functioning brain I silently pray to Lord
"Thank You for all that You've given me,Thank You for making me and giving me a chance to understand and LIVE through this magical life,Thank You for staying by me!!Love You!!"

Holes in the Fence.

Maybe you have heard this story a million times till now,but for me it was a new discovery yesterday.

"Once upon a time there lived a young boy who had one bad habbit. He got angry for every little thing. His papa thought he should do something for his son. So, the papa told the boy"Everytime you feel angry go and hammer a nail on the fence outside the house." The boy followed his father's instruction. Every time he got angry he hammered a nail in the fence. After a week the father took the boy to the fence and said "Look what you have done in your anger". The boy stood open-mouthed as he looked at the fence. There were several holes in the fence! "When you say something in anger you leave marks which stay forever!" said the father."

When I heard this story yesterday I remembered the lessons that were taught in school. The lessons that were long forgotten. The words of one of my teacher echoed in my ears "Spoken words and a Raised sword are two things which once let loose can never be taken back!" Inspite of all the efforts that I make to be a good human being(no,dont laugh I do want to become a good human being!!) I loose all the magic of 'life' only because of a few moments wherein my emotions take over me!!

Another realization that dawned on me was about how eaisly we forget the basic rules to live a happy life. Life is simple,like a river gushing in one direction.Its just us and our attitudes that create ripples in it by throwing pebbles in it! We forget the ABC of life and then accuse and complain about troubles that surround us. God has made mankind as simple and straight as any other form of life he has made,its just us who insist on making things complicated and then go and ask God for help!!Haha, are'nt we stupid?(c'mon stop sacrificing truth to your ego,its not that difficult to agree on this!!)

This post is dedicated to the person who narrated this story to me, to all my teachers(in all forms) who have taught the meaning and mission of life, to the AlMighty and last but not the least to the person who quoted before me yesterday "Stop aiming for the big,life is made for small things!".

Disarmed.

Time stopped and stood before me
And ruthlessly laughed away,
As I stood disarmed and shaken
In the merciless hands of the day.

There comes a point in life
When theres nothing that you can do
Inspite of knowing that the "bad"
Is coming to destroy you!

The time when you loose control
When everything seems to go wrong,
And the gauntlet of life slips out of your hands,
And misery seems to grow strong.

I sense the weekness growing
How helpless I've become!
I can do nothing but wait,
Wait for the worse to come!

Laughter Club!

This world is a stage and we are the actors! Very aptly,Shakespere has compared this world to a stage and all of us as the actors. What I have further realised is that the script or the story of this play is left upto you to interpret! Lately however it has dawned on me that however serious a situation is I find a comic angle to it! Not that I am intentionally trying this,but I guess I'm just adapting to the stressful life of an average urban Indian!

The last week has been a helarious Act of this theatre of life!Some of the incidents have kind of stayed with me. I will narrate the precise moments,try to visualize them!

Uh...You Think That Looks Sexy?
It was a sunny afternoon. One of those "pre-lab" times in college. Was in a classroom with three other classmates. One of them played with a chalk and a duster. The chalk dust flew in my hair and nostrils and eyes! "Nevermind" I thought to myself. The second classmate furiously debated with me,arguing that Mahabharat was Mahabharata and not Mahabharat(right,as if it would make any difference!). No,this was'nt that funny either. The third guy, dressed in a lustrous red shirt and tempting,silk black pants and those deadly moves (I hope the sarcasm has come across!!) practiced Marshall Arts Kathas right behind me!!!!!(!!!!!). I was not ready to look at him but what the hell(??) with what he was doing behind me all my body parts had started functioning as eyes!!!!

I Have A Boyfriend!!
I have a monsterous test tomorrow. I have not opened my books yet. I furiously write my assignments.I feel like Lord Krishna is going on providing the sheets like he was providing the cloth to Draupadi!!(Just incase you are confused...I was copying the assignment!!) A very old friend of mine gives me a phone call. I am too tensed to talk about anything right now. We talk for around 15minutes. Then comes the real blow! "I am going around with someone" she suddenly says,before my brain totally deciphers this(yeah I know I am a little slow!!) I can hear her cell phone ringing. She keeps me on hold! I am holding my breath as well!! "yeah just wait for a second" I can hear her say these words to the person on her cell and she immediately pops into the phone again.
"Guess who" she says,
"XYZ?" I say(the name is hidden for privacy purposes,lolzz!!)
"You guessed it right" she says "Listen I'l speak to you later ok?"
"Yeah bye" I say and the telephone line immediately dies out!!!!
I thought only I was getting a "Garfieldish" attitude towards life! I thank God that she prefered calling me up rather than scrapping on orkut!!!

Toe Van!
This one is the best!! It was just a spilt second but had the greatest impact! I was walkin home. Everything seemed normal. I saw a toe van that had toed a red Santro. I felt pity for the owner! We(i.e. myself and the toe van) progressed towards one another. Now we were right beside one another and guess what! The car had two around twelve year old guys still in it!!!!!!!!!!(!!!!!).

What you did not find any of the above funny??(hahaha!!! that just adds one more incident to my list!! Please visualize the Yahoo Messenger smili rolling on the floor with laughter!!)

The Perfect Evening.

It was a Friday today. A day we all look forward to because what follows a Friday is always pleasant,a weekend!! The day began like a normal weekday kind of comparable to a queue of tiny kids walking to school,all dressed in the same uniform,looking the same!! So this Friday was nothing new.
Did what I normally do in college which was wasting time,sitting for labs and wasting time there too(haha,if you know anyone in an engineering college that too B.E. you'll probably know what I am talking about!!). While I sat for my lab little did I realize that a beautiful evening awaited me with a plesant smile!
Was finally done with the lab after fighting with the computers to allow me to login(i.e. trying out all the passwords that I've ever used!!) and the professors to approve my assignments! Immediately went to the canteen. Ordered a masala dosa and a coffee. It took almost 30 odd minutes before I got my not so special food!! However,(surprisingly) I did not get irritated...it was just okay. The Masala Dosa that I normally do not like in my canteen tasted delicious today!
After the food session got over,Shwts,a part of the TRIMURTI TRIO went home and Sneha and myself decided to work on our project. We sat in the VJTI Quadrangle and surprisingly(again!!) I could concentrate!! We had an "aim" and were well ahead of the time limits!! Are'nt these quite a lot of good things alredy??
The evening was peaceful and quiet except a bunch of guys playing Basketball in the Quad. The canteen door closed and my eyes must have looked more greedy than Shridevi's (the dog of the Quad,luckly named by me!!)!! The evening lustrously walked right onto us. The fluffy,cotton like winter clouds playfully ran around over us. An eagle high above in the sky,as if God's messenger,made sure things were going well down on Earth! The guys had stopped playing the game now sat sipping their bottles of water. I continued to read but was silently absorbing the peace around me.
The sky had now become peach in colour. It seemed that the sun had spread it's colour evenly over the sky. The building of VJTI kind of blended in this peach colour. I suddenly felt the longing to stay here forever. I had stopped reading now. We both sat silent. Both looked up at the skies. Those 15 seconds brought a million thoughts to my mind. Why do we have to move on in life everytime we feel we've finally settled down! Suddenly a "me" emerged from myself and told me "Why are you thinking that you will miss this...enjoy it while you still have it!".
We soon broke the silence with me reading on "The nominal member.......".
We walked to the station with a certain peace inside of us. I luckly got an Andheri local and was saved from all the elbows hitting me!!!
I waited alone on the bus stop. The bus would'nt come. I was'nt tired. Again "surprisingly"! Finally I got into a not so crowded bus(This was almost miraculous!!). I turned around to sit. Bingo!! The next surprise for the evening. A cute,tall,bushy haired guy stood right before me! (hahahaha!!! I was happy that the roads were jammed with the traffic!!). And guess what,the lights in the bus suddenly flickered. Saw the guy through the flickering light!!!!!!!!! If anything was yet to happen it would only be God coming before me in His"shakshat swaroop"!!!!! Can things possibly get better?

I am still smiling as I recall the events of the evening! I kneel before You AlMighty for this beautifully satisfying evening that you gifted me today! Love You and always will!
Will write soon again!

Today again!

It is a beautiful morning today. The sun is unusually pink,the birds are chirping louder than they normally do. Maybe they dont want their songs to be lost in the loud voices screaming with excitement "Ganpati Bappa Morya,ursha varsi laukarya!".The rains pour pleasantly.

I view the world outside from an approx 7 feet balcony and I try to make the best out of this and extend my vision as far as possible. The far,however,is yet too close inspite of dogging all the tall constructions that mankind flaunts.A tall,energetic building eventually captures my vision!I imagine my vision like a cock which flutters around and inspite of its quick movements is eventually caught!

The day is going to be extremely busy...I can hear my mpther calling me from the next room...I guess this is definately not the right time to blog!!! I gotta rush...will be back soon!

The Black Butterfly!

The moment I saw it ,it made me smile,
It was a black butterfly,
It flapped it's wings and found it's way,
It's charm had caught my eye.

It's wings were made of velvet,
They shined in the rays of the sun,I
t came to me and asked me to follow
And there the journey had begun.

It flew over several mountains
And flew across several seas,
I followed it all the way long,
But soon found my joy cease.

I stood there and simply stared,
As it flew higher towards the sky,
Then it vanished out of my sight
And a tear rolled down my eye.

I went to God with sulky eyes,
I could not help but cry,
I turned to Him and sadly asked,
"Tell me,why can't I fly?"

God smiled at me,wiped my tears and said,
"If I allow you to fly,
Who will accompany the beatiful flower,
That waits for you to come by!"

I stepped closer to the flower,
And felt the fragenance in the air,
And wondered where it was before,
Had I not noticed it there?

That day this message I got to learn,
And till today I belive,
So what if some people do not stay,
There are others who will not leave!

Yes,its you...

He stood alone in the darkness,
With the silence screaming out,
As he waited for her to return
From the valley of mistrust and doubt.

The night was black and evil,
The chill of the wind stabbed him again,
But he would not budge,he would not move,
He felt nothing-no joy, no pain.

Not once did his eyes blink,
As he fixed them on the road to nowhere,
Her illusions tickeled his senses
But he knew that she was'nt there.

The moonlight seemed like a shining sword,
That slashed and tore his heart,
And a bloody tear rolled down his eye,
As life was falling apart.

He is fond of this darkness now,
As it helps him hide his fears,
And he waits,waits for his love to return,
Drowned in sorrow and tears.

I still stand alone in the darkness,
With the silence screaming out,
As I wait for him to return
From the valley of mistrust and doubt !!

Phew!

Phew! Life is just so itself! Its become like this super secure mansion where every entry and every exit is noted down(with the time rounded off to the closest millisecond!). Everything is too predictable,too obvious and too cliche! How I wish I could live like a character in Ekta Kapoor's soaps(where you live and die and die some more and still live!!) but alas,fiction is far from reality!
Time and again I envy Alice(no,I am not talkin about your neighbour,I am talking about the Alice from "Alice in Wonderland"). How I wish I entered a world where nothing is known to me and I have a whole new world to discover! Life would be so much more fun with cats smoking pipes and the smoke taking the form of alphabets!
On second thoughts the world I live in is not less amusing in any way! It's just that my art(the only thing I am good at) of identifying the wonders of this wonderland has been worn out by the black and white,neverending font of my text books!! I just need to rejuvinate my skills of "patthar se pani nikalna"!(haha,sorry I cannot give any English expression that speaks my mind better than this one!). After all finding myself writing this,with one helluva S.E. test tommorow,in itself is magical enough(though it's not as much fun as the "smoke alphabets" would be!).
With a million monkey-like thoughts jumping from one branch to another in their home,their jungle,I sign out to return to my world of reality!Will return soon when the monkeys find a new banana tree,till then take good care of yourselves!

Cilia!

Strange that my first post here is something as stupid and inane as "cilia". Things however,have been strange since the day I started identifying my real feelings and emotions. The whirlpool of thoughts that swirls inside me hardly ever finds its way out! The only listener of my crazy feelings are my paper and pen! Now, however,keeping up with all the technology I am trying to make a new friend,my computer!( Though I dont think that my PC has anything really personal on it...yet!!)

Anyway,coming to the primary stuff,today I want to share my views about Cilia! As most of you must be knowing(atleast I hope so) cilia are the thin fiber like hair present on cells(of mammals I think). This might not be an exact medical definition but I guess we can do with this for the time being. What I am going to say ahead is not to be laughed on,not to be joked about and not to be taken lightly! All the readers(if any!!) will relate to it immediately because we all come across someone in our lifetime who is affected by what I call the "Cilia bad luck"!

Recently I have come across a man who suffers from this. This is not in our hands,its just the will of the AllMighty,all that we can do is pray! Cilia Bad Luck is that punishment which can put you in depression! Okay,I know the suspense is killing you.I should just let it out now! Cilia bad luck is when the worse times fall on you and your cilia-hypnotyzed by some evil force- shamelessly peep out of their homes!!

The hair that molests the upper lip ruthlessly with those black sword-like blades(of hair ofcourse!) that threten the charm and beauty that the face once had! The densely growing hair on the ear is nothing but an ambush to disgust! The longer the worse!(what you still puking?!!) But I still believe that this Cilia bad luck curse is better than fungus growing out of your ear!!(Yes my friend,I have seen it all!!).

Anyway,I wanted to write a poem to express my condolences and sympathy to all those unfortunate souls suffering from this disastrous defeat but I am just too exhausted for that right now!Hoping that the ever progressing science will find a cure to heal the ignorance of people suffering from this and give them the simple idea to use a scissor more often!

Will be back soon with a new wave of discovery!