Marriges are made in Heaven!
Marriges are made in Heaven, the wedding planners though are totally Earthy! As a child the only thing that marriges reminded me of was food(though today also they do!!). Now, however, I have realised that a marrige is a very deep emotional bond between two people. What I fail to understand is why do Indian marriges convert this pure feeling to a "See how much money I have" exhibition!!!
Maybe it's just that I dont understand the value of it, but as of now I think Indian marriges are nothing but a pompous display of exccesive extravaganza of something that does not even exist! What is a marrige? A get-together of loved ones, a way to share your happiness, or a couple of hours of listening to chants(which one does'nt even intend to understand!!)
The very picture of a marrige makes me feel totally fake! A row(a large one!!) of women, all dressed like queens of nowhere, hidden under layers of jewellry, covered in jazzy clothing and each eyeing what the other is wearing! More than half the "cast", as they would call it, is there to attend the marrige. People you have never meet before and will never meet again have come to "share the happiness"(really??)!! Is all that required? Can we not have only people who actually mean something? The chants ofcourse go on for a while(quite a while actually!!) I am doubtful if the bride and the bridegroom are even listening to what is goin on. I also doubt if the "brahamin" is interested in what he is saying! What kind of a commitement is this? Does doing all this make any sense? Can such a deep commitment be made with a third person praying for you?
I am not saying all this is wrong, maybe the way I percieve it is wrong!! All I need is a reason to believe in what I do!! I dont see any sense in converting a marrige to an exhibition! Life, however is a game that different people play with different rules!!
Maybe it's just that I dont understand the value of it, but as of now I think Indian marriges are nothing but a pompous display of exccesive extravaganza of something that does not even exist! What is a marrige? A get-together of loved ones, a way to share your happiness, or a couple of hours of listening to chants(which one does'nt even intend to understand!!)
The very picture of a marrige makes me feel totally fake! A row(a large one!!) of women, all dressed like queens of nowhere, hidden under layers of jewellry, covered in jazzy clothing and each eyeing what the other is wearing! More than half the "cast", as they would call it, is there to attend the marrige. People you have never meet before and will never meet again have come to "share the happiness"(really??)!! Is all that required? Can we not have only people who actually mean something? The chants ofcourse go on for a while(quite a while actually!!) I am doubtful if the bride and the bridegroom are even listening to what is goin on. I also doubt if the "brahamin" is interested in what he is saying! What kind of a commitement is this? Does doing all this make any sense? Can such a deep commitment be made with a third person praying for you?
I am not saying all this is wrong, maybe the way I percieve it is wrong!! All I need is a reason to believe in what I do!! I dont see any sense in converting a marrige to an exhibition! Life, however is a game that different people play with different rules!!
posted by Meghna Bhujwala at 2:24 AM
2 Comments:
i hav always been anti these horrible marriage parties!!whenever i have attended one,iv come out thinking..what a waste!!Esp us north indians..we hav made a mockery of what is a day when u make one of the biggest commitments of ur life by sharing that day with ppl u dont care abt n ppl wo dont care abt u eidr.
But the point u made about the brahmin n "Can such a deep commitment be made with a third person praying for you?" was something v new to me.i had never thot of that.its a very valid point n id like to second it.
A commitment like that does not need a party or a sanctimonious
brahmin.Its not a commitment ur making to the world,not even one ur making to ur partner.Its one ur making to urself..to love and cherish ur partner always.And the reason ur partner is marrying u is because he/she has trust in ur commitment to urself.
Hello there!
Nice post! I share pretty much the same view about marriages. And so, when I got married, it was a small ceremony with the rituals lasting for not more than 40 minutes;
with the punditji translating the meaning of the mantras in english with a mike in his hand, so that everyone could follow what was going on and grasp the significance;
with delicious food and a carefully chosen menu, so that the guests remember the occasion and
with loads of time remaining in the day to spend with my partner. The ceremonies were conducted the Arya Samaj way, though we are not Arya Samajis. We chose this since they were willing to customise the ceremonies keeping it down to the essentials and the punditji was willing to explain every step to the audience. To this day, my wife and I relish the moments of our marriage where we were able to do things the way we wanted.
Btw, I saw your coments on my wife's blog (http://zen.ashwita.com/) and thats what brought me here! :-)
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